Recently, I had a woman come to one of my workshops and ask, “Why are all the men I meet cheaters?” I asked her, “What type of men are you are you attracted too?” That’s when she admitted that she finds most men boring. She said she would like someone with the excitement of Christian Grey, from Fifty Shades of Grey, the rugged brooding aloofness of Chris Hemsworth of Thor, and the fearless ruggedness of Jax Teller from Son of Anarchy. Physically this feels a lot like adrenaline.

Her descriptions and choice of men where not that surprising, many women find these men attractive and there is a good reason. The neurotransmitter of attraction is norephinephrine. When you see someone you attracted to, your body releases norepinephrine to signal the attraction. Your heart beats faster, your breathing becomes shallow and your palms begin to sweat. It can produce a phenomenon called, “misattribution of arousal.” Physically this feels a lot like adrenaline.

But because attraction can feel similar to adrenaline, which is released during an exciting or scary situation, the feeling can be misconstrued. It can produce a phenomenon called, “misattribution of arousal.” That means when you experience something nerve-racking, it can make you believe that you are aroused and attracted. This theory was first tested in 1974 by professors Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron. Physically this feels a lot like adrenaline. She likes the exciting type.

So how can you still find excitement, but avoid the cheaters? Yes, simply walk out on a suspension bridge – metaphorically speaking. When you find yourself with a guy that’s nice, but is just not giving you that thrill you desire, tell him you would like to do something exciting. Tell him you’ve always wanted to try parasailing or rock climbing. Or, if you’re not up for that type of adventure, check out the latest horror movie.